Couples Counseling
I help successful couples who can’t stop arguing and are afraid it’s affecting the kids.
On the outside, you’re a power couple with a happy family.
On the inside, you’re haunted by guilt over what the fights may be doing to the kids. You can’t decide who to blame, your partner or yourself.
But mostly you’re frustrated.
You have no idea how to stop the pattern from repeating itself again and again.
And you’re afraid that both your dream family life and your formerly hot sex life are eroding so quietly that you’ll not even notice when they finally disappear.
And what really stings is comparing yourself to your friends who all look like perfect couples on FaceBook. “What’s wrong with us!” keeps racing through your head at 3 a.m.
If you knew that therapy could make that growing pile of hurt and anger disappear, you’d pick up the phone in a heartbeat. If you knew that you could end the bickering-silent tension-bickering cycle, you’d sign up today.
The good news is that I can teach you exactly how to do just that.
Even if your partner doesn’t want to come in (yet), you can begin therapy on your own. You’ll leave the first session with a starter kit of practical tools that will make an immediate difference.
Can you imagine how good it will feel to be a light-hearted couple again? To be confident that the kids are thriving because the two of you have changed for the better?
You always knew you had the potential to be an awesome couple. I know that too, and want to show you how to achieve it.
Be as proactive with therapy as you are with the rest of your life! You’ve already taken charge of your career, health, and the kids with wonderful results.
And you’d never gain another fifty pounds before starting to eat healthier. So why would you delay therapy until your relationship has gained fifty more pounds of resentment?
You already know that it’s far easier to learn healthy habits before the consequences get unmanageable. As with exercise, a small steady effort in counseling pays big dividends over time.
Therapy is done when…
When couples are no longer drained from being so combative, they blossom. Suddenly they realize that they’ve got more fun back in their lives.
The final phase of treatment is to figure out where to go with this new vitality. We collaborate in revealing a vision based on cherishing one another.
Questions at this stage include: How can I best support my partner’s deepest hopes and secret, personal ambitions? How do we want to identify as a couple? Who are we now? What do we want to do? What shared projects and interests do we want to go for? How can we reinvest this vibrancy into the kid’s lives? What values and activities do we want to introduce to our family?
Couples often report being happily surprised as treatment winds down. They came to therapy in order to stop the pain.But they leave with much more. Some call it a deeper joy than they dreamed was possible. Others say it’s a mature commitment that even outshines their original vows.
What couples say about me
- Valerie makes it safe to discuss our radioactive topics without any explosions or meltdowns.
- Valerie taught us three communication super skills. Now we can peacefully handle conflict on our own!
- Val showed us how to take down the roadblocks that kept us stuck.
- Valerie coached us into building more of what we both wanted--warmth, an easy interdependence, insight, empathy, and affection, which lead us back to our honeymoon level of intimacy. WOW!
- I liked the way that Valerie held us both accountable without making us feel blamed or judged.
Couple’s Therapy Intensives
Couple’s Therapy Intensives are available for those who can't attend counseling on a weekly basis.
This format works well for busy professionals, parents, long-distance commuters, or those with shift work.
We meet on Saturdays for a three hour session once a month.
Some issues that bring couples to therapy are:
- Addiction/Partner Addiction Support
- Balance (Work/Life/Family)
- Blended Families
- Chronic Illness
- Divorce
- Extended Family
- Infidelity/Cheating
- Intimacy
- Mental Illness
- Pre-Marital/Readiness
- Pornography
- Sex